Say hello to the new Nakbamala & Nakbiden funeral shrouds. They are made out of the highest quality Egyptian and Turkish cotton. These designer funeral shrouds are for all the bodies and body-parts that are currently scattered all around Gaza, and not to mention the countless bodies decomposing under an estimated “42 million tonnes of debris piled where houses, mosques, schools and shops used to stand.” They will come in a multitude of designs and colors so that it will be easy to spot when bulldozers are trying to dig up old graves.
You have to admit, Nakbamala & Nakbiden has quite a ring to it!
Unfortunately for the Palestinians, these blankets are dual purpose items since they can technically be used to stay warm during the chilly nights in Gaza or for their intended purpose, which is to fill the shortage of funeral shrouds. Initially, it was difficult to get these shrouds into Gaza through normal humanitarian aid channels due to the ongoing American-Israeli siege, that America doesn’t want but is going along with only because it wants to protect Israel and Palestinian people from Hamas and also protect Hamas from itself because it doesn’t want Hamas to create weapons from dual purpose items that could potentially hurt Israelis and also its own Palestinian people and then later force Israel to hurt Hamas, which hurts everyone involved, especially Israeli hostages, who need to be freed ASAP.
Thank goodness, the generous American military has figured out a work-around to solve this absolutely inhumane, dual-purpose problem! Pending Congressional approval, the American military will pack 100 Nakbamala & Nakbiden branded funeral shrouds with each bomb shipped to Israel. These shrouds will help the Palestinian people wrap the bodies of Palestinian citizens killed by American bombs dropped on them by Israel with help of American intelligence because let’s not forget, there are American citizens who are currently held hostage in Gaza. Needless to say, American taxpayers want to help make life comfortable for Palestinians as they go through this very difficult time.
Naturally, there was push-back from the Israel Defense Forces about the dual purpose nature of these shrouds and the compromise that was struck includes putting a clear statement in Arabic on each shroud that reads: “Only for use as a funeral shroud. This blanket should not be used for warmth or comfort in anyway. These blankets are paid for by American-Israel Defense Forces.” (يُستخدم هذا الغطاء ككفن جنائزي فقط. لا ينبغي استخدامه للتدفئة أو الراحة. تم دفع ثمنه من قبل قوات الدفاع الإسرائيلية.)
With all the military aid for Israel, the Palestinians are reportedly thankful to the American people for providing this aid to them, especially those working at the generous American factory responsible for manufacturing the shrouds! We understand that each shroud will cost $250 to manufacture due to high labor costs, but that will still be a drop in the bucket when compared to the roughly $20 billion in military aid provided to Israel since October 7, 2023. The Palestinian people send a big thank you to Nakbamala & Nakbiden and also the forever generous American tax payers for helping to cover the shortage of funeral shrouds in Occupied Palestine.
More details of the funeral shroud shortage from Mondoweiss:
Dismembered bodies are wrapped in spare pieces of cloth or plastic bags due to a shortage of funeral shrouds. Children bleed and are carried by their relatives in the streets without knowing where to go. Dead bodies are transported on animal-drawn carts due to the lack of ambulances or Civil Defense crews. Dozens of victims are trapped under the rubble with no one to reach them, and dead people and their body parts are strewn across the streets. Hospitals and residential neighborhoods are emptied en masse, as some of them are forced to flee south, others are arrested and taken to an unknown location, and others are executed in the field, according to eyewitness reports.
Like always, thanks, but no thanks to Genocide Joe and Kid Killer Kamala. Please quickly lose the election today and wrap yourselves tightly underneath one of your signature funeral shrouds. The world doesn’t want to see your faces anymore.
Faisaling.com 
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