I’m An American-Muslim and I Have A Jerry Seinfeld Problem

I literally grew up on the guy.

I have distinct memories of my 8th grade English teacher—Mrs. Evans—would reference Thursday night Seinfeld episodes the following school day even though we had no idea what she was talking about. My college friend gifted me all the episodes of “Seinfeld” on burned CDs (I didn’t accept these of course!). I even went to a Seinfeld stand up show back in November of last year in Los Angeles (I had purchased tickets months in advance) mainly because my family wanted to see Jim Gaffigan who happened to be the opening act.

I turned somewhat of a blind eye to Seinfeld’s side dramas over the years, either I didn’t consume pop-culture news or didn’t keep up with news in general. I missed the whole saga of the 38 year old Seinfeld dating Shoshanna Lonstein, a 17 year old high schooler in NYC’s Upper East Side. Apparently he went to pick her up at school a couple times and later revealed in interviews that he wasn’t aware of Shoshanna’s age. That seemed a little shady.

There was the 2018 incident that revealed Seinfeld enjoying a fun-filled day at some sort of dystopian training facility that showcases for western tourists how how the Israeli state runs it’s apartheid regime. Times of Israel covered the visit:

The Caliber 3 training facility, located near the settlement of Efrat south of Bethlehem, posted the photos of Seinfeld on its Facebook page with the message, “Finally we are allowed to tell you! Jerry Seinfeld and his family were in Caliber 3. During their visit to Israel last week, they came to us for a special and exciting activity with displays of combat, Krav Maga, assault dogs and lots of Zionism. It was great.”

[…]

Caliber 3 began in 2003 as a camp for professional security personnel such as police. Since 2009, the program has also become an attraction for tourists who are taught how to handle weapons, participate in paintball or learn Krav Maga, the self-defense method using boxing and martial arts developed by the Israeli military. The course includes simulated “terror attacks” in a make-believe Jerusalem market, complete with plastic fruits and wooden stalls.

[…]

But though he only started performing here relatively recently, he is no stranger to the country. Seinfeld volunteered in a kibbutz when he was 16, and remembers his time there fondly.

Then a couple weeks ago I watched the interview with Bari Weiss on her “Honestly” show and was left perplexed at how Seinfeld literally transformed on camera from his usual joking and laughing self to instantly getting teary eyed. His entire demeanor changed and he went silent for a good 10 seconds until Bari had to awkwardly (and quickly) change the subject. It happened so fast, I had to watch it multiple times to see what was happening. I think it’s safe to say that he left viewers very curious about the emotions that flooded into him at that very moment. What did the Zionist state do the 16-year-old Seinfeld during those kibbutz volunteering stints?! You can watch it below—I purposely started the video with Jerry laughing and then watch what happens after Bari asks a question about his recent visit to Israel. Very confusing, to say the least.

Now, with all that in context, what is your average comedy-loving American-Muslim fan of Jerry Seinfeld supposed to do? If you watch the full interview, he keeps deflecting the hate he receives from pro-humanity or what is commonly referred to as “Pro-Palestinians” (a term I am beginning to personally abhor b/c it’s rooted in some sort of zero-sum, colonialist-flavored “us against them” narrative). He keeps saying the hate is misdirected and that he isn’t responsible for all the bombs getting dropped on Gaza or kidnappings and killings happening in the West Bank.

Your fans know that Jerry! We aren’t stupid. We’re just confused how such a rich and famous person can be so blinded as not to see the genocidal trauma inflicted on another people. It’s nothing against Judaism, but the power of getting infected by Zionist bug as a youth turns you into some sort of deranged Zionist zombie where every Palestinian must be neutralized at all cost. Simultaneously shocking and confusing. I just can’t get over it. How can a person be one way while they are in the United States of Freedom and Free Speech and then completely different when they step foot in Zionist Israel? Reminds me of some Indians who are so pro-Democratic while in ultra-liberal cities like Los Angeles and NYC and then turn into Muslim-hating BJP zombies when they set foot back in India. It’s just confusing and intellectually dishonest on many levels, but I’m attributing the behavior to childhood brainwashing or something to that effect. Humans can’t be that sinister. It doesn’t seem healthy.

So, do you see where I’m coming from? I’m sure there are a lot of Muslims out there in the same boat. Please speak up.

Update: Jerry Seinfeld is currently on some sort of world comedy tour. He is taking the opportunity to talk back to hecklers at his show. Here’s a clip of one such incident in Australia.

During his comedy shows, Seinfeld is becoming very confrontational with hecklers—all the to the delight of some in his audience. I think he will regret this decision. It’s well-known that Zionists like Jerry Seinfeld like to flatter themselves by thinking they are the savior of all Jewish people around the world and of course, by association Judaism.

Borderline antisemitic comments such as the one made in this clip, albeit in a comedic context, might appear funny on the surface, but they perpetuate long-held antisemitic tropes. Not cool, Jerry!

Go back to doing comedy about lint on your shirt or the way that guy at the cafe flicked his hair before he paid for his coffee or how some people hold their cellphones while walking through Central Park. Or go ahead and show your true face.